The Art of Idiocy
by Sydella
Summary: Gokudera evaluates his relationship with Yamamoto, which leads to unexpected results. Hibari makes a snarky cameo. Pairing: 8059


Gokudera has always prided himself on his intelligence. Although he honestly couldn't care less about school, he likes being known as "the smart one" amongst the Guardians. His reputation as a teen genius boosts his fragile sense of self-worth and is a large part of his identity.

So how in the nine hells did he fall in love with the baseball idiot?

He tries to figure out this strange new sensation using equations. Maybe if he approaches this the way he studies for math tests (he always aces math. _Always._ ), he can somehow understand the logical reasoning behind his subconscious desires. In class, as Tsuna daydreams and Yamamoto sleeps, Gokudera scribbles furiously in a notebook.

 **Delicious sushi + increased exposure + right-hand man's role = love?**

But that doesn't really make sense…Gokudera taps a pencil against the cold metal surface of his desk, lost in thought. He has never been the type to be easily swayed by the promise of a homemade meal-being related to the Poison Scorpion has done that to him. Increased exposure and his role as Tsuna's right-hand man have not diminished his annoyance towards all the other Guardians. There must be something else, some other factor that he's overlooking. He can't help but feel that it's right under his very nose, but for the life of him, he can't put his finger on what it is.

Emerging from his brief nap, Yamamoto languidly yawns and stretches. Gokudera glances over at the Rain Guardian, who catches his eye and winks at him. Blushing, Gokudera refocuses on his notebook.

What the hell is going on?

X

"Tenth, have you ever been in love?" Gokudera asks.

Tsuna is sipping from a cup of tea and splutters upon hearing his Storm's question. "Uh, kind of. I had a crush on Kyoko-chan not long ago, but I'm over it now."

Gokudera nods, mulling over his boss's words. "How does one get over something like that?"

"Well, it's hard to explain." Tsuna takes another sip of tea and clears his throat. "With the passing of time, some things just get easier." He shrugs and sets the cup down. "Hey, Yamamoto's latest match is on in an hour. Wanna come with?"

It is Gokudera's turn to splutter. "Er, sure."

Later that day, they snap up front-row seats and watch their friend run back and forth, confidently commanding the school's baseball team. When the match is over, Namimori Middle has won and Yamamoto waves at the cheering audience. Tsuna is all smiles but Gokudera scowls and turns away, fighting a blush.

"What's so good about him anyway?" he complains to Tsuna as the two walk home together; Yamamoto has stayed behind to sign autographs for adoring fans. "I just don't get why he has to be good in everything."

"I wouldn't say that he's good in _everything_ ," Tsuna replies. "No one can be good in everything. I think Yamamoto's appeal lies in his charisma. He just has a lot of confidence."

Confidence and charisma, huh. Gokudera turns those words over in his mind. Then, a realisation strikes him with the force of a lightning bolt. Of course, that's it! Yamamoto has used charisma to manipulate Namimori's resident teen genius into liking him! Oh, the cunning bastard. Gokudera clenches a fist and vows to be even more antagonistic to Yamamoto than ever before.

Considering that Yamamoto really is an idiot, this should be a piece of cake.

X

Unfortunately, life has a way of catching humans off guard. Every day, Gokudera wakes up promising himself that he will definitely defeat Yamamoto once and for all. And every day, Yamamoto comes to him with a grin and an outstretched hand presented to Gokudera like a peace offering. Defeat has never seemed further off. Maybe he should just be like the French and surrender.

No! No! Gokudera beats himself with his math textbook, and only stops when Tsuna gives him a worried glance. He will _not_ surrender. There has to be another way.

 **Charisma + physical presence + cunning smile =love?**

The code has been cracked! Flushed with triumph, Gokudera seeks Yamamoto out, determined to put his new theory to the test.

"I've got you figured out, you know." Gokudera leans casually against a row of lockers. "You use a combination of effective tactics to get what you want."

"Huh?" Yamamoto looks confused. "What are you talking about?"

Gokudera points a long, pale finger at him. "Stop trying to deny it. You can't fool me, Yamamoto Takeshi. If you own up to your bullshit, I'll treat you better from now on. Well, maybe only slightly better."

Yamamoto shakes his head. "I really don't know what you're talking about."

"I'm in love with you," Gokudera blurts out.

Storm and Rain stare at each other in silence for a few moments.

"Say that again." Yamamoto's expression is unreadable.

Gokudera takes a deep breath and speaks very slowly, as if addressing a child. " . . ."

Yamamoto's eyes widen and he opens his mouth to reply, but Gokudera cuts him off. "But it's okay, because through a thorough process of analysis, I now know that you've been playing tricks on me! I see through your little strategy. You've been psychologically and emotionally manipulating me, haven't you?"

A dazzling smile stretches from ear to ear on Yamamoto's face. "Hayato."

"What are the hell are you looking so happy for?" Gokudera screeches. "And don't call me by my first name."

Yamamoto is trembling like an aspen leaf. At first Gokudera assumes that the Rain Guardian is shaking with fear now that his secret's been found out. But then Yamamoto attacks him with lips and caresses and yet another white flag appears in Gokudera's imagination as the two boys crash to the floor.

"I love you too, Hayato!" Yamamoto appears to be on the verge of happy tears. "I love you too. So much. You have no idea."

"What the fuck-get off of me, you creep-I hate you-mmph!"

X

Later, Gokudera secretly wonders if maybe he isn't so smart after all. Yamamoto may be a baseball idiot, but what does that say about the person in love with him?

X

Hibari is teaching Hibird a new song when Kusakabe opens the door and peers in.

"Kyo-san, there's been an incident on level 2," Kusakabe dutifully inform his superior. "Gokudera Hayato and Yamamoto Takeshi were found in an, er, compromising position."

"Hmph. It's about time. Anyone with half a brain could have seen this coming from a mile away." Hibari ignores the incredulous look his lieutenant gives him. "I'll punish them later. Now go away, I'm busy."


End file.
